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Elephant in the Room

DNC Polls show Gay Muslim winning

by Jack O'Mahoff

Democratic National Committee polls show dems could beat Trump in 2020 with a transsexual Arab woman or a gay Muslim kiddie raper, but the DNC thinks they have a better idea.  They want to run Hillary Clinton, give her a do-over, you see, because, you know, she’s a woman, and uh, there’s a glass ceiling, you see, and Trump is bad, they say, and Russia meddled in the last election, didn’t it?  We all know that because CNN said so, all the major media reports it so, despite a complete lack of actual evidence, it doesn’t matter because perception is reality now, whatever most people believe is true is simply true, despite any and all evidence to the contrary. 

The dems need to run Hillary again, because identity politics, victim politics is the be-all and the end-all.  Me too, you see, me too, me too me too me too me too me too me too.  It all just adds up so that the dems will run Hillary Clinton because they need to run a victim, again, to be victimized, because that’s what dems do.  They need to pose as victims to bring all those who feel like victims under the great sheltering skein of the giant donkey tent. 

Caitlyn Jenner will be their vice presidential candidate, because DNC polls show that a man who has had his testicles removed, along with his offending penis is beloved by all who matter, because he has victimized himself, you see, chosen to be somebody else, a pitiable creature who, when he sings Helen Reddy’s “I am woman, hear me roar,” really can roar, like a man, to silence conservative hecklers or any would-be intruders into the big dem tent, into the party that knows white men are the absolute pinnacle of evil, that unchecked, unfiltered, unobserved immigration with no restrictions is the be-all and the end-all for human existence, that allowing everyone in and trumpeting diversity as the greatest good for the greatest number is really the final final solution.

To make the dem party work takes a lot of victims, a whole lot of victims, newer and younger and (preferably) gayer than the ones already safely ensconced under the big dem tent. The dems must open the floodgates, turn off all their discriminating intelligence, ignore every lesson of the past, their own cultural heritage, their own ethnicity, which only tethers them to the ideas of a patriarchy which, of course, never worked for minorities or the millions of other hyphenated americans needed to put a democrat in the oval office. 

Oh, it wasn’t always this way for the donkey men and women who run that party.  There was a time when it stood for labor, good public schools, fair housing and bank regulation (before Bill Clinton and Barack Obama got into office), and it tried to help working men and women whatever their color, sexual preference, or gender identification.  Adults were once in charge of the big dem tent and didn’t kowtow to every special  fringe element with a private beef or pet peeve.  Those days are long gone.  Only victims, and victims’ advocates remain, are all that matter.

Related: Clinton Ally admits DNC Primary was rigged 

And so we will do just fine in the mid terms, thank you, despite the expected onslaught from CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, Washington Post, all the usual attack puppets that will continue to trumpet the complete fiction that Russia somehow stole the last election for Trump and is now meddling in this one.

Trump won it because he had to, because the world needs its victims, and that’s ALL the democrats now stand for, the sad-sack victims of white men’s aggression.  The dense dems don’t want a winner, they can’t stand a winner. And so they will offer up more losers, because that’s what best fits their identity politics.  All their losers need another loser with whom they can identify, and wallow, and feel their peculiar particular pain with in the long road to servitude, to victimhood, which is now their entire raison d'ê tre. 

Meanwhile, they will get so sick of our winning some more that all they will have left is more whining, which is one task at which they really excel.

New Hampshire Lamp

by C. Wadsworth Longfellow

Like Diogenes, the people of New Hampshire held up a lamp, finding an honest man in the cesspool of shiftless grifters running for President. Trump's triumph was so complete that in defeat, the desperate Establishment scrounged the slag heap for John Kasich, a mediocrity whose milquetoast persona is so out of step with The Donald 's post modern sizzle he's like a bland steak dinner at the Golden Corral buffet.

 As to the Commie-crats, their primary hearkens back to the glory days of 1928 with Bernie ("Take Our Earnings") Sanders in the role of Samuel Gompers and Shrill Hillary as the fat New York phony Al Smith, substituting pussy power for Pope-ish plots.

 As this reality show rolls to its inevitable conclusion, we will all watch with glee when President Trump screams "You're Fired!" as he strips the pension from the Kenyan Muslim usurper, sending him back to the mud hut where he was born while restoring a new coat of White Privilege to the once again White House!

Donald Trumps America

by Jack O'Mahoff

On your knees, America. Bow your head slightly but tilt your chin up, as Britains do for their Royals. Relax your jaw. Don't grind your teeth. Don't bite down. Above all, smile, mouth agape in wonder as you prepare to greet your new leader. Keep tissue on hand to clean the tears, the salty joy of victory from your face.

Behold the White Horse

This man is so clearly your better, and deserving of all your respect. He lives in gold-plated rooms. Where do you live? He can say whatever comes to his mind. What can you say? His wife is a supermodel. What's yours? His kids kill exotic endangered animals at private game resorts. What do yours kill? When he sees what he likes, he can "just grab her by the pussy." What can you grab, besides your own crotch? (If a reality TV star – a B lister – can just grab a woman by the vagina, imagine the liberties a U.S. President can take).

American Empire in Twilight?

Who says America is an Empire in twilight? These are high times for Empire, my minimum wage friends. In point of fact, you can change that to minimal wage, because our new leader will be taking any minimum wage law off the table. With our party's control of the House and Senate, we won't be hearing anything further about any minimum wage. Whatever's left of the 11 million illegals we don't get rounded up and returned to their own shabby countries, we can put to work here for a lot less than whatever minimal wage democrats would have tried to force upon us. We need cheap labor, my friends, and if we can't get it from your little brown-skinned brothers who voted Democrat — at least those who weren't too lazy to climb out of their welfare couches and vote — then we'll get it from you.

Haves and Have Mores Rule, Fool

We are the haves and have mores, as W explained a while back, and you are either with us or against us. We've got a million or so of your own working class kind ready to use against you if you don't fall in line, a little organization called the US Military. Maybe you've heard of it? So pull your little protests all you want. Your kind had eight years to grab her by the pussy. Now it's our turn.

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Ingenious Bonus Quote:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." – George W. Bush, 5